One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

One of the chapters in my "skating book" has finally come to an end.  I had my last lesson with my coach on Wednesday, and last saw him on the ice (at least for a while) this morning.  My coach is leaving as he will be starting his masters in Nursing at DePaul University in Chicago.  I'm so grateful to have had a coach who was not afraid to take on the challenge of teaching an adult beginning FS level skater, who also happens to be a clockwise skater, who has been through my skating ups and downs, and not once has told me that my skating goals are not attainable.

I am excited about his future endeavors, and am excited about working with the new coach that is lined up for me, but he will be someone that I will never forget. 

I HAVE A SWING TO INSIDE MOHAWK TRANSITION!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!! I HAVE A SWING TO INSIDE MOHAWK TRANSITION!!!! Seriously, this transition has been a MAJOR roadblock for me since I started working on Pre-Bronze MITF this past year.  It's such a simple looking move, but for me, it has been a big source of frustration, fear, and tears.  I simply could not get onto the correct spot on my foot to allow for the transition to happen in my crossover patten, no matter which direction I went.  

Well, low and behold, it "clicked" yesterday.  I cannot describe how excited I am to have this happen! All it took was a simple change in my thought process as I'm doing the element.  I had been thinking "swing mohawk" as one element, and not dividing it into two parts.  So the other day, I just happened to think "swing" (get comfy on the inside edge) then "mohawk," and BAM! It worked!  I felt comfortable on the edge enough to put my foot down as I was in a good spot on my blade to allow it to happen. In the past, with thinking of the move as one whole chunk, I would freak out because I didn't have my balance on the proper edge, and I knew that if I went to put my foot down, I was going to fall, and that wasn't helping my fear factor at all.  My coach and I spent a lessons on this element, without much progress.  I have been so frustrated to the point of giving up on it, and have even cried over this.  It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and I feel MUCH more confident on this! Is it perfect? Of course not, but am I way beyond happy to have this type of progress? YES!!  Who knew that just breaking down the element a bit would make such a huge difference?  I wish that this happened sooner, rather than later, but this is something that I had to sort out for myself, even if it took me so long to do it.  

I know that there are other improvements to make on the crossover pattern, but I'm so much more confident now, so I can move forward with making the improvements, and be ready to test in January!

It's the fall semester!

Wow. It has really been a long time since I posted on here!

In a nutshell, I am still skating, and continue to make progress.  I can't remember if I had posted this before, but I had thought about testing my Pre-Bronze MITF back in the spring.  Although I had been working really hard on the test, I decided to not test as I was honestly not prepared for it.  The most difficult pattern for me is the crossovers, simply because I really struggle with the inside swing mohawk transition that is suppose to occur between the forward and backward crossovers.  Although I remember initially being really upset with this decision, I'm glad that I decided to not test. I know that the test is "only" pass/re-try, but I want to pass the test well, and not just barely squeak by. I had learned my lesson the previous year about testing something that I'm honestly not ready for, and I don't care to repeat the experience. That being said, I am looking at testing later this semester (December or so), and THIS time, I will be ready. I backed out of the test once,and I don't want to do that again.  I am also planning on testing my Pre-Bronze Freeskate, as my coach said that I would be ready for that as well.

So..this summer...I was able to skate a few days a week at my rink, as it was FINALLY open for the summer!!! Yay!!  There, I started re-focusing on my MITF as well as learning back three turns, a sit spin, and back scratch spin.  I also found out that my coach is going to be leaving in December, so I only have a few more months with him.  I'm going to really miss him as he's the coach that I've had the lonest (since I was in ISI FS 1, basically).  I'm suppose to be transitioning to a new coach as of January, but I 'm not ready for that transition yet! I want to hang onto my coach forever!  However, I am also happy for him as he got accepted into a good graduate school, and will still be able to put me onto the ice for competitions in the Chicago area, so it's not like he will be gone-gone.

My other big news is this...NEW SKATES!!!!! I've been having a lot of problems with my old skates (Jackson Classiques), so this summer, I decided to finally get fitted for a new pair. A week ago Saturday, I was finally able to pick up my new skates, and so far I LOVE them.  When I got measured, I was told that my (now old) skates were a size and half too big length wise, and didn't at all fit me around my foot. I have about an A width heel and ankle, but am much wider towards the ball of the foot (and even have a slight bunion, most likely due to my skates).  So now, instead of being in an 8 1/2, I'm now in a 7 in a Jackson Premiere. My blade is also completely different. My previous blade was a Ultima Mirage, which is okay for beginner skate.  My new blade is a 9 3/4 inch Protoge.  I was really excited, but nervous about the new skates because of the fear of the skates being really stiff and adjusting to the new blades. Honestly, as a whole, these skates are breaking in VERY nicely!  I've had a few minor issues with my right ankle area, but it's nothing that undoing the skate for a few minutes, or re-adjusting the tongue can't resolve, and these are to be expected. I did have one fall over my toe picks, but it wasn't bad.

I first skated in my skates the next day, and I will admit that I could hardly do anything in them.  I felt like I was in someone's else's skates and my feet were like "Whoa...this isn't right."  Seriously, all I could do at first was swizzles and one foot glides.  However, after about 30 minutes or so, I was able to try crossovers.  Since then, I've progressed extremely quickly to my "normal" footwork/edges. My coach has already seen major improvements with my skating, and we're working towards re-adjusting to the new skates. I'm already back to spinning, although that is a bit of challenge as I have to re-find my "sweet spot," so that will take some additional. Part of that will be from really riding my right outside edge (remember that I'm a clockwise/leftie skater), but I'm expecting that to kick in the not-so-distant future.  As a whole, I cannot stress the importance of having good, supportive skates and blades, regardless of your skating level.  They really do make a difference!  I know that I'm feeling MUCH more safe with skating in these skates, as my foot is pretty much on lock down, so it won't shift, have my heel come up, not get loose on me, you name it.  My previous skates were actually very dangerous for me to skate in, so I'm so glad that I finally have something that works well.  These skates and blades should last me up to axel or possibly beginning doubles (if I get that far).

In addition to the new skates, I will be skating two completely new programs this year. I was able to choose the music, and, for the first time, cut the music myself. I had to scrap my original plan of skating to one piece ("Beethoven's 5 Secrets by the Piano Guys) as my coach and I couldn't come up with a good cut.  However, I came across the soundtrack to "Dangerous Beauty" on youtube, by just looking up "figure skating music."  This year, I am planning on skating ISI Bronze again, but also giving a dramatic a try.  The nice thing about a dramatic program is that I can use elements up to FS 4, so it's a good way for me to keep challenging myself, yet not stress over not having all of my FS 4 elements.  For my Bronze program, I'll be skating to "Veronica and Marco," and for my dramatic, I will be skating to "Imprisonment."  The later is going to be especially challenging as it's very dark, and so it will be my job to portray that mood...something that I have never done.  However, I think this will be good, as it will force me outside of my "box."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BhNCNm1dxE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t6mZYu0VGQ

That's about it for now.  I will try to add updates more often, so just bear with me!

Enough is enough!!!

Rant ahead, just FYI, but I"m feeling the need to post this as a figure skater who is trying to find that balance of being healthy, without going overboard.....

Sometimes, I get really tired of people comparing themselves to me in terms of them wanting to lose weight, eating healthier, not being physically active (considering that I run, figure skate, and do gymnastics), etc. For those of who have known me for a long time know that I've always been on the thin side. Sure, I might be lucky, blessed, have good genes, or what have you for having a thin build, but hearing stuff like this on a regular basis from this person is making me feel very self conscious, and I'm not liking it. I especially don't like that she's making comments that two of my arms could fit into one of her shirt sleeves, and the like. I have told her that being thin isn't everything, that she is fine the way she already is, if she wants to make changes to be healthier, then she should start small, and go from there, etc. However, I'm still getting all of these "I'm fat" related comments, and her comparing herself to me for being thin, which is making me feel very self-conscious. I've had my own (minor) body issues to deal with, and I'm still trying to have a good balance with my diet, although my willpower to not having junk food lately is MUCH lower...don't know if that's a good thing or not....my brain goes "It's JUNK!," yet my body goes "But it tastes so good!" Sheesh. 

Bottom line, I may have to speak up and tell her to stop using me as a reference for her weight woes, because it's making me feel really uncomfortable. I really wish that she would just accept herself for who she is and what she has,quit complaining, and make the changes herself if she wants to get healthier. I can't do the work for her, and am willing to give her encouragement/support in her healthier endeavors, but she has to take the first steps (whatever those may be), and stop comparing herself to me. 

Enough is enough!!!

There's a first for everything....

Competition season is upon us here at the U of I, and I did my first competition of the season last Saturday at Homewood-Flossmoor.  The competition got off to a super late start due to the sound system malfunctioning, but was able to catch up and be on time again.  As a whole, my events (ISI Bronze solo, compulsories, and FS 3 interpretive) went well, and it was a good competition overall.  I met two other adult skaters there, and I got the chance to cheer on one of them as they competed right before me.  The other adult skaters were Gold and Silver level.  The gold level skater and I happened to meet earlier that day, and she told me that she had remembered me from last year, and I inspired HER to compete again this year.  I was very honored and humbled by this, and that alone was enough to make my day in skating. It just reminded that I may never know who's watching me, and may be inspired to skate for the first time, or return to skating/competing.

 Results wise, I got a first place finish "against the book" both my solo and interpretive skate.  For my interpretive skate, I was given "Fireball" by Pitbull, which I'm thankfully familiar with.  Interpretive was actually pretty fun! I honestly didn't really know what to in the first half of the song (about 30 seconds or so), but there was a big downbeat a bit later, and suddenly, you couldn't help but basically dance to it.  I basically focused on footwork type of stuff, and I hope that I get better with interpretive skating, I can just really go things and really play things up to the audience.  However as a whole, I came off the ice feeling that I had done well, and was told by several other people (mostly from my rink) that I did well.


Also, at this competition, I faced a first for me....falling in competition.  I'm sure it was bound to happen to me at some point, and that some point was during my compulsory portion.  For my compulsories, I was required to perform my change foot spin, dance step sequence for FS 3, and a salchow.  I fell on my salchow, which was my last element of the routine.  I'm not quite sure what I did wrong, but my feeling is that I was too tilted when I took off, throwing off my balance when I went to land, and I couldn't hold onto it.  Too be honest, I was disappointed about that jump, and I knew that fall was going to cost me.  I know that I was skating against the book, and I have been struggling with that jump a little bit lately, but for the most part, it's been pretty consistent for me. I was suppose to get my falls out of the way up to the competition, not the other way around.  So, for me to have that fall when I've been working so hard to do well, was disappointing.  The rest of the routine had also gone pretty well too!  I pretty much nailed my change foot, although I was on my toe just a little bit at the end of the backspin (could've swore I heard my coach yell "nice!"), and my dance step was alright...could've stayed more steady on my outside mohawk so that it looked more like a mohawk than a bracket (and a bad bracket at that), but was other wise good.  I was especially happy with the change foot as those have FINALLY kicked in.

However, looking back at that fall, what I told myself a bit later on in the day was that fall was ONLY a fall...nothing else. I did not disappoint my coach, the audience as a whole, or even the judges.  They marked me down because of a technicality with my skating, that's it. As a matter of fact, my coach was super proud of me going out there and competing, and doing well as a whole.  It takes A LOT of courage to go out there and compete, especially as an adult, and doubly so when you're in a competition with mostly kids/teenagers.  So knowing that, I am glad I competed, and have hopes to do another competition later this spring if finances will allow.

As for back at the home rink, my rink has changed hands from ISI to USFS.  This change has been a change in the making since I started skating, and has finally come through.  I'm not entirely sure why we changed hands, but I hope that this will draw really good coaches to our rink, so that we can continue to increase the quality of good skaters at competitions.

Speaking of coaches, I'm in the process of changing of changing coaches.  My current coach, Jeremy, is graduating this spring, and will not be staying here for graduate school.  I respect his decision to go someplace else, and want the absolute best for him, but am very sad that he is moving on.  His leaving is one of the sad things that I don't like about our rink...coaches coming and going every few years due to them being college students.  However, what I am liking is that Jeremy is taking the initiative in finding a new coach for me.  Unfortunately, I'm not able to skate much this next week or so, due lack of finances, but I have a lesson scheduled with a potential coach, Michelle, in about two weeks.  I don't know too much about her, but she has come from one of the top skating training centers in country (even did boarding school there), and sounds like she has quite a bit of competing and coaching experience under her belt.  She would also be able to put me onto the ice for both ISI and USFS, which is a bonus.

My other personal choice is Max Liu, who use to teach Gracie Gold.  I know first hand that he's an excellent coach, and has flat out said that he enjoys working with adult skaters (major plus in my book).  I have seen him coach other students at our rink, so I know he can be tough.  However, I also know that he's also very good because of his emphasis on technique, which I sometimes feel like a lot of our coaches lack with their teaching, in order to "push" students through levels.  Then, when it comes to competition, the student doesn't generally do as well because of it.

My plan with both of these potential coaches is to take a few lessons with each, and Jeremy wants to be involved by observng/"co-teaching" the lessons.  That way, he can have some additional imput about who he thinks would be a better fit for me.  Ultimately, it'll be my decision on who I want to be my coach, but this way, we can discuss the positives and negatives together.

Semester in Review

Wow. I've been horrible about posting things this semester!  Hopefully, I will post a bit more once the new year starts.  So, for those of you who may have missed it, here's my semester in review. You final will be at the end of this post. *wink wink* :)

As usual, my rink closed for the summer in early May.  I literally spent the entire summer working at summer day camps in town, and doing TONS of off ice training.  I took off ice private lessons all summer with my current coach, and took an off ice class.  One of the coaches teaching the class also happens to be a clockwise skater, so naturally, I was often paired up with her when working on jumps.  I even worked on some off ice axels, and had some VERY good goes with it.  However, I started having issues with my left hip.  I kept landing too hard in general, so I was having some muscle pain, even with landing on waltz jumps.  It wasn't anything serious, but it was something that my coach and I definitely took a look at, and worked on fixing.  So far, knock on wood, things have seemed to have healed, and I haven't had problems since.

In addition to my off ice private lessons and classes, I was still running and took up weight lifting at my gym.  The later was due to my off ice lessons since we were using weights at my coach's gym where he was living at the time.  Weight lifting has kicked my butt, plain and simple.  However, I made progress, and was able to start increasing the weights for my squats and bench press.  In addition, I was also in a pool a few days a week since I was with summer camp kids, and would work on in-water jumping when I was able to do so, which proved to be a lot of fun since I have no fear of going under if I messed up.  I also worked on jumps from off a diving board, and even tried my hand at an in-water climbing wall.  I didn't do so well with that since the knobs were really hard on my feet, and it takes a ton of upper body strength, but I can't say that I didn't try. :)

Throughout the summer, I was able to skate a few times at different rinks, which was really good for me, as I could totally feel how much stronger I was getting as a result of my off ice work.  Plus, I felt like I didn't totally lose my skills from this past year since I was able to skate more often.  My rink FINALLY re-opened in mid-September, and I was soon able to start weekly lessons with my current coach.

Skate America!!!

In October, I got the chance of a life time to see Skate America in Hoffman Estates (one of Chicago area suburbs), and I served as an ice monitor for the practice sessions.  Basically, I would let the skaters off and on the ice.  This was such an amazing experience to see the skaters and their coaches up close, and was just amazed at watching these skaters fly around the rink with seemingly no fear of falling.  I also learned a few things, as well as gaining a few words of wisdom from being arms length away from some of these skaters and their coaches:

1. The competitors are normal human beings, and many of them are SUPER nice! They are also human beings knowing that many of them get super nervous before going onto the ice.
2. Even top notch competitors utilize basic skating skill drills in their practices. This includes bunny hops, basic stroking, and waltz jumps.
3. The top notch coaches will STILL correct their skaters on basic positions...head up, bent knees, pull-in, etc.
4. To see a major skating event for free...VOLUNTEER! It's a great way to see the events, be an active part of the skating community, and to see/hear top notch skaters up close!
5. Pairs skaters use a spray on adhesive on their hands to prevent slippage during lifts. I had never thought about that!
6. Skaters do need positive reinforcement from their coaches.  I heard Jason Brown say something about his triple axel that he was uncertain about.  His coach was literally right by me, and what was her response? "Trust it." I totally needed to hear that.
7.  What I need to remind myself now because of #6 with my own skating: Go for it. Risk it. Trust it. 8. Jason Brown really is SUPER nice! He is totally this happy go lucky guy that just makes makes me smile when I watch him skate.
9.  Arena food is super crappy and majorly expensive.  Another perk to being a volunteer is having MUCH better food choices back stage.
10. Watching these types of competitions live will make you work that much harder when you get back to the rink.  You know that you will never be at the level that these skaters are at as an adult skater, but you will work your butt off that much harder to work on the skills that you have your current skating level.

Basically, this event was the skating "pick me up" that I desperately needed, so I was able to return to the rink a few days later with the renewed energy.  I started attacking my program more for my rink's fall exhibition skate, and was even attacking my Pre-Bronze MITF more.  Since I was able to attack my program more, I did a successful first performance skate of the season with my program that I'm planning on using for skating competitions this winter/spring.  My coach and I re-choreographed my jazz number ("In the Mood" by the Glenn Miller Orchestra), which is my ISI Bronze program.  My program wasn't perfect, but I was happy with how I skated during the actual exhibition, and my coach was also extremely proud of me.

At this point, I'm working on really cleaning up that program for the Homewood-Flossmoor Polar Ice competition in January.  I'm also working really hard onto finally getting that "devil" change foot spin as it's still not happening.  THAT has been frustrating to the point of tears for me, however I have gotten it a few times, so I think a lot of it is mental at this point.  I just hope that I will have two clean change foots for Homewood-Flossmoor....one in my program and one in my compulsories.  I'm not really worried about any of the other elements, but I have to get that change foot to happen. I'm trying hard to be patient with it, and have done a fully rotated change foot spin here and there, so I know that they're hiding in the ice, so I just have to keep working on finding them.

This fall, I also continued with off ice training with my coach, and ran a local 5k at the end of September called the "Woman's Fitness Run," which the local running club hosted.  There were approximately 80 runners, and I came in 32nd overall with a time of 30:30, and place 11th in my age group.  At first, I was not happy with how I did since I started off way too fast, almost got too hot, and just about ended up walking from tiring out.  However, looking back, I actually did really well, and I have hopes to place in the top 10 for my age group next year.

In addition, I also ran a 5k back in August.  It was the "pie run" which was my first ever 5k from the year before.  Although this race is not timed, I finished the race in 23 minutes and change, which averaged to about an 8:25 mile, and I finished third overall.  I was actually the lead female runner for 3/4 of the race.  Since it was a "pie run" pie was served at the water stops along with water.  Knowing that there's no way that I can run and eat pie without getting sick, I skipped the water stops (I had my own with me), which saved me on time, and probably helped me keep my lead.

Unfortunately, I have not been running much as of recently, but am hoping to get back into it as I'm planning on running in the half marathon again here in April, which will take time to train for.  However, I am taking an adult beginning gymnastics class at a local gym, and it is SO.MUCH.FUN!!  It's expensive about ($130 for 8 weeks), but is totally worth it, and it is GREAT for off ice training.  This is because gymnastics is all focused on flexibility, balance, and strength, which is all done by your own body.  I am planning on keeping up with the gymnastics, and actually even have hopes to compete in my first adult meet in march. I might be doing "low level" skills, but someone's gotta show people that you can start gymnastics in adulthood, so it might as well be me. Like ISI FS levels, there are 10 levels to gymnastics, with level 10 being the hardest.  Most of my skills are around a level 3 at this point, although I do not have a strong bridge, due to lack of shoulder and back flexibility, plus the needed arm strength.  It is something that I'm working on, because I have hopes to make progress to harder maneuvers from there.  So far, I think my favorite events are vault, beam, floor, and bars (although that may change), and it's been extremely good for me as I've got very little fear with working on my elements, so I'm able to attack them more.  This is because if I screw up, I land on much softer surfaces.  I have even been finding myself pounding out stress with landing on those mats, so it's been very great for me mentally as well.  I actually wish I had more of that "let me at it" attitude on the ice.  However, there's a big difference with my fear of falling because ice doesn't have any give if you crash...unfortunately.

So yeah...that's what I have for this semester.  Since I"m officially on Christmas break from work, my plan is to skate a lot, do some skating for the sheer fun of it, and focus on off ice training again.  I may have to see about setting up some type of schedule for myself, as it is extremely easy for me to overdo things and wear myself out in the process.  However, I'm determined to continue to improve with my skating, and am also so grateful that I've also found gymnastics to love as well.  :)

That's it for now.  I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday season, and happy skating!

Springing forward

Well, the time has come. My rink closed for the summer, and so my skating is very limited to when and if I can get onto the ice someplace else.  I finished my season with running my first ever 1/2 marathon in 2:13:15 at a 11:30 pace. I had been training for the race since January, with the goal of running the entire race, minus the water stops.  I met that goal, and was SUPER proud of myself for doing it. I had never expected myself to run a 1/2 marathon just a year after starting to run, and even initially balking at the idea of doing a 5k.  

About a week after the race, I skated in my rink's annual ice show in the principal number, adult number, and in a mini-solo as Cruella de Vil from "101 Dalmations." The theme of the show was "When I grow up," so the different groups were portraying different jobs, such as a postman, fashion designers, world travelers, fire fighters, etc.  As a whole, I really enjoyed taking part in the show, and especially loved the adult number and skating as Cruella de Vil.  The adult number skated to "Roam" by the B-52s, and we dressed as people who were traveling the world as pilots, beach goers, socialites, etc.  It was choreographed by a new coach at our rink Max Liu, who also happened to have coached Gracie Gold when she was a young skater.  I was excited to be working with him, as I have hopes to have him as a coach once my current coach graduates next year.  

For my Cruella de Vil number, I REALLY enjoyed skating to that one.  The music was sung by Selena Gomez, and although she's a much younger pop artist, my coach and I were able to make the routine much more age appropriate. My routine wasn't particularly complicated as it was only about a minute long, but I really enjoyed skating as someone that's my total other persona. I also absolutely LOVED the costume, which was mostly borrowed from another skater.  Since I enjoyed the routine so much, I've already asked my coach about using this routine as a character solo for competitions next year, which he has totally agreed to do.  I think that I can really pull the character off once I work a bit more on expression...gotta get a good creepy smile thing to make the audience shiver a bit.  However, my coach was SUPER impressed with my ending pose. He told me that it was totally creepy and totally matched her character. :)  

On May 7, I took my FS 3 test. This test was very stressful for me as the change foot spin has been challenging for me. I had all of my other elements, except for that change foot being consistent.  Plus, I had the situation of either taking the test and not passing, or waiting until sometime in the fall of taking my test, not knowing how much ice time I will be getting this summer, and be very wobbly on skates again this fall when I would be back on the ice.  I decided to go ahead and test. I passed by the skin of my teeth on the change foot, but I was not happy with the test because of that change foot. I did give the examiner one decent change foot on the compulsory part, but had to re-skate it for the FS part, and did not do it well.  My examiner "passed" me on a 5, but only on the agreement that I "continue to work on it." However, the test is now behind me, I'll keep building on that skill, as well as moving onto FS 4.  This is bringing me the one step closer to being able to do an axel, or at least axel prep work before my coach graduates and leaves next spring. :)  

Now....onto some tough stuff that I've been facing lately.  

Not all of my skating experience is fun and games. A chunk of it is downright hard, and sometimes a very frustrating process.  Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that I have discussed this issue with my coach, and we are still on VERY good terms as I have a tremendous amount of admiration and respect for him, and have greatly enjoyed having him as a coach.  However, a few days ago, during an off-ice lesson, he asked me something at one point that made me stop and think, and it brought back a memory from last year from an off-ice lesson I had with him (may have been my first one).....a comment about my body fat...and how uncomfortable that made me feel.

So yeah...body fat/weight/body image...what a very sensitive area to discuss, especially with being bombarded by the media on what's considered healthy, attractive, sexy, etc. We've all seen those advertisements: firming up all sorts of body parts, dropping 30 pounds in 30 days, advertisements for the various new workouts, etc.  They're sickening, right?  Yet, I've recently found myself battling my body image fairly recently, and it's been bothering me, because I've been questioning why I started making changes so that I'm eating healthier and exercising a lot more.  A lot of people would probably say that I should be happy with those changes, and yes, in a lot of ways I am, as I'm feeling the healthier benefits (running a 1/2 marathon is no small feat).  However, my question is WHY did I start making the changes that I've been doing, and what I realized the other day, partially based on a comment that my coach said about a year ago that I perceived as being hurtful at the time.....my body fat.

I will admit that there had been a few times in the past where I would have slight moments of body image issues as I would try on clothes ("Ugh. I look like I'm pregnant with this stomach..") and the like, despite me always being on the thin side and tall at between 5'8-5'9.  I've also always enjoyed being fairly physically active, although my eating habits/food choices often counteracted that...sodas, cookies, chips, french fries, candy, nachos from the rink....you know the drill.  However, in this past year, I made a huge attempt in a change to be healthier after an off-ice lesson with my coach.

So, the story behind this is that during my off-ice lesson with him (which was FANTASTIC as a whole) at a an indoor track on campus, my coach and I ran into a former classmate of mine that he happened to meet a few weeks ago.  This classmate was very happy to see me (and vice versa) as we hadn't seen each other in a long time, and she had mentioned that I looked like I had lost a lot of weight. I told her that I had.  Later on, towards the end of my lesson, my coach had asked me something along the lines of why I lost weight.  I don't remember what I told him at that time, but the thought came to me a bit later on what sparked it.

The memory of one of my off-ice lessons with him a year ago last spring popped into my mind, as it was around then when I decided to get a lot more serious with my skating.  We were working on some abdominal exercises, and he made a comment a long the lines of "This will get the fat off of you and more toned."  I may have partially stemmed that comment as I believe I said something about my abs being flabby.  Although I know that he meant it to be helpful at the time, it served as a hard to swallow pill for me in terms of body image and overall fitness level. I don't want to say that he was the sole reason that I made changes, but that comment was something that pushed me over that edge...and it kinda scares me that I did that.  I have a ton of respect for my coach, and I know that he wants the absolute best for me for my skating. I do know that our relationship is a two way street, and I realized that I do have to pull my own load to some extent, but I wasn't expecting myself to make changes based upon a comment.  I know that we have all heard stories about people developing eating disorders at least partially based upon comments others would make (such as a coach or a judge at a competition).  Although, at this point, I do NOT think that I am heading down a path of an eating disorder, but it was a very scary question that crossed my mind if I don't keep things in check.  

So with this rather sensitive issue in mind, I do have a lot of questions about helping a student fight through any possible body issues.  This could go for skaters of any age, but it may be of most beneficial to teens and adults.  Please feel free to share your answers if you're comfortable in doing so, and/or sharing these questions with your coach or other skaters to generate a healthy discussion.  These are numbered, but not in any particular order of importance.

1. Should a coach question about a skater's body if the coach is concerned about it?  If so, how should it be approached?

2. Can one's weight, especially of that of an adult skater, affect the technical aspects of skating such as jumping or spinning?  What about other skating essentials such as finding boots that fit? Are there any good skating companies that specialize in adult sized dresses/outfits for a reasonable price?

3. What do you think of the training regimes that many skaters put themselves through (even top level skaters) to meet the physical demands of the sport?  Is it really too much of a physical demand on the body, especially at a young age where so many kids are doing doubles or even triples by the time their early teens? Are they really eating well (with the chance to splurge once in a while), getting enough rest, have some honest-to-goodness downtime, etc? How do skaters handle their body image thoughts during their training?  What these top name coaches doing to ensure that their skater is NOT heading down a harmful path?

4. For those of you who are adult skaters who made the decision to get healthier during your skating career, what was your reason for those changes? Have those changes become a part of you in a positive way, or do you find yourself just struggling to push through?

5.  What can coaches and skaters do if they know another skater at their rink is really struggling with their body image/weight issues?  

6.  What does it really mean to be healthy and fit?  

7.  What are some other danger signs that skaters should take notice about themselves of potential harmful eating and exercise habits?  

8. Years ago, I remember a skater's height and weight sometimes being mentioned during their program (same goes for women's gymnastics).  Why did they do this, and why was it stopped? 

9. Are coaches ever under the pressure to have a skater look a certain way? If so, why?

10. If you're a coach, do you have any health goals/plans that you want your skaters to achieve? If you want them to achieve for the particular goal, why is that?

To end this on a positive note, I did talk to my coach about this other day, and he felt terrible about his (unintentional) criticism about my eating and weight, and that I perceived it that way.  Although he is a nutrition major, he told me that me that he never wants me to feel guilty about nutrition as harmful habits can result.  Plus, yes, it's totally fine to treat myself to some junk food every once in a while, as it is deserved, and he's not strict about nutrition, despite it being his major.  He also stated that he has been super proud of me, that I'm incredibly hard working, has enjoyed seeing my skating mature over the past two years, and have been a joy to teach.  So, hearing that made me feel a lot better, and let's just hope that this feeling of inadequacy with my body image is just a really short thing.